The Hardest Story
by nattikur cullen
Summary: After Edward left Bella in New Moon. This is one morning during one of those months that Stephanie skipped past. It's a one shot. R&R please.


**THE HARDEST STORY**

**A/N: Yeah, so another one shot story. I always wondered exactly what happened during those months that Stephanie skipped in New Moon, so I decided to see if I could come up with something. Oh, and the song I used later is _Happy Ending_ by _Mika_.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight. All credit for Twilight goes to my personal god, Stephanie Meyer.  
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I groaned and rolled over, the sound of my alarm clock still pounding in my ears. I frowned as I bolted up from the bed, shocked. I'd just rolled onto something wet… and cold. Grimacing, I remembered what it was. I pealed back the covers and stared blackly at the defrosted icepacks that lay on my bed. I could briefly remember putting them there last night. The bed had been to warm without… without _him_. I couldn't help the whole in my chest bursting open at the thought of him. My heart ached for him. I slowly crawled back into bed, lying beside the icepacks. I curled up in a ball and carefully shut my eyes as I hugged my knees to my chest. It was a form of protection, as if I'd been wounded in my chest. In a way I had. He had slowly dug into my chest deeper and deeper then, taking my heart with both his hands, he yanked it out and left with it, leaving me without my heart and with an irreplaceable whole.

"She's not acting like he's left her, she's acting like he's dead," I had overheard Charlie saw one day when talking to Billy on the phone in whispers. He did that a lot nowadays. He and his whispered gossips were beginning to get worse and worse and slowly, to my astonishment, beating Jessica Stanley's. Not that I complained, I didn't have the energy or the heart to. I didn't have the heart to do anything nowadays. I had _no _heart.

I tried my best not to mope for Charlie's sake. He was growing more protective over me and was getting more worried day by day. He didn't need to protect me though. I didn't do anything nowadays. I got up, I cried for a bit, I got dressed, I ate breakfast if I felt like it, I went to school, I came home, I cooked Charlie dinner, I did my homework and I went to bed. Not that I ever slept. I would try to sometimes, but usually I tried my hardest to make sure I didn't go to sleep. I'd done so much extra work for school recently and my grades were higher than they'd ever been before. But I couldn't go to sleep. If I slept I'd have the nightmare again. Every night I used to wake up screaming. At first Charlie had rushed to comfort me but soon he'd grown used to it.

I sighed and stood up, stumbling to my closet. My vision was still foggy with tears and so it was rather hard to see exactly where I was walking. The fact that I was unable to walk across a flat surface without finding something to trip over might have contributed a bit as well.

It was after I'd chosen my outfit that I found it. I'd dropped the pair of jeans I'd planned on wearing and scrambled down to the floor to get it. My hand slid over the little blue book and I gasped. I picked it up and examined the cover. It was a baby blue with small stars in the top right corner. I'd had this book since I was a kid, when I'd thought I could sing. I flicked it open and examined the first page. The first song I'd ever sung. I hummed the tune as I read the lyrics, the words seeing extremely significant.

_This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together.  
Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life  
Can't get no love without sacrifice  
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well  
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell  
This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, or love, or glory  
Happy endings gone forever more  
I feel as if I'm wastin'  
And I'm wastin' everyday  
This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together.  
2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind  
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around  
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep  
I can think that we just carried on  
This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, or love, or glory  
Happy endings gone forever more  
I feel as if I'm wastin'  
And I'm wastin' everyday  
This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
Then live the rest of our life,  
But not together.  
A Little bit of love, little bit of love  
Little bit of love, little bit of love._

_A Little bit of love, little bit of love  
Little bit of love, little bit of love.  
I feel as if I'm wastin'  
And I'm wastin' everyday  
This is the way you left me,  
I'm not pretending.  
No hope, no love, no glory,  
No Happy Ending.  
This is the way that we love,  
Like it's forever.  
To live the rest of our life,  
But not together._

I whispered the last few words, my cheeks now wet with fresh tears. Tears of pain, tears of sorrow and tears of logging. No anger, I didn't feel angry now. I didn't think I could ever feel angry. He was right, of course. I was no good for him. I'd known that all along. But to hear him say it…

I cried out and found myself pulling my knees up to chest again. I rocked back and forth, sobbing loudly, the ears pouring down my face now. I could hear footsteps creaking up the stairs and then towards me in my room. I tried to stop crying, to comfort myself, but it wouldn't work. I was in such a state.

"Shh," Charlie soothed, placing a chilled hand on my forehead. "Bells, it's okay now."

I didn't respond at first as I tried to think of the right thing to say. Finally I took a long intake of breath and murmured in reply, "I know Cha-dad. I'm fine, really."

I could feel Charlie's finger trace round the purple bruises under my eyes and sigh. "You're staying home today, Bella. I'm not letting you go to school like this. Try and get some sleep, 'kay? I'm worried about you." He used his hand to brush my hair off my face and, after sighing one last time, he stood up and left the room.

I sat there, not moving, not speaking, barely even breathing. Finally, I opened my eyes. They stung and my eyesight was still slightly foggy. It was making my dizzy. I lowered myself onto to the floor until my head hit the floor. I closed my eyes again and rolled onto my side. "I'm worried too, Charlie." I admitted in a whisper as I fell into a deep, groggy sleep. And I was worried, although not for the same reasons as Charlie. I was worried about one thing and one thing only: if I never saw _him_ again, I might end up doing something stupid. Something very very stupid.

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**I hope you liked it. Please R&R.**

**- Nattikur  
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